“When someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them does too.”
I have never read a truer quote than that one right there. I am definitely not grateful for having cancer, but I am grateful for the way it has changed the way I think and view life. You always think you’re different. You think it could never happen to you. Well I have news for you. Cancer doesn’t care. Cancer doesn’t care if you’re 1, 12, 26, or 82, it doesn’t care if you don’t drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, it doesn’t care if you excercise everyday and stick to your diet. Yes, certain things you can do can help prevent specific types of cancers but not all cancers have a cause. Most just happen. Most of my life I have wanted everything planned out, and procrastinated everything. Before getting diagnosed I pretty much lived my life on auto pilot (not to save I didn’t love my life because I did) but I mostly worked and came home to spend time with my husband and our two dogs. You always hope you “live life like there’s no tomorrow”, but the truth is that’s not really how most of us do it. This experience has taught me to let go of things that would normally bother me, but to also appreciate every little thing and victory on a day to day basis. If you don’t like something (in all aspects of your life) change it. I started to look at my life not as I HAVE to do something, but that I GET to do something no matter how big or small. It sounds weird but saying I HAVE to work sounds dreadful, but saying I GET to work makes you realize there are people in the world who don’t get to do something as simple as going to work everyday and doing something that ultimately does make a difference in your life. Just try it I promise it’ll change the way you perceive things.
Another thing I have to say is how completely amazing people can be in your life. Care takers especially. God only knows where I would be in this experience without my husband by my side every step of the way. From the day I was at Urgent Care, to being admitted into the hospital, sleeping 13 straight nights at the hospital, calling all of my doctors, dealing with the insurance, driving me literally everywhere, cooking my meals, making sure I’m eating, dealing with every possible emotion I’ve ever felt, and so so much more. You don’t always realize the responsibility that falls on to the people in your life who are taking care of you because you are sick. I would absolutely not being doing as well as I am if it weren’t for him. We get caught up in our own emotions as cancer patients because trust me there are A LOT of them, but imagine sitting there imagining your husband’s whole life is about to change right there with you. Imagine having to hear the other end of the telephone telling your mom and dad their child has cancer. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. So for my support system out there, Thank you. Thank you for dealing with all stages of my emotions, thank for paying for not only picking me up but paying for my breakfast, thank you for not getting upset with me when I don’t text back, thank you telling me I’m bald and beautiful, thank you for posting and reposting my journey for others to see, and everything else you do for me.
Truth be told you definitely learn whose there for you in times of need. My mother-in-law planned this amazing fundraiser at her salon including set prices for services where all the proceeds would go to me and my husband. The amount of planning and preparation she put into this fundraiser was absolutely amazing. One of my closest friends from my high school days Samantha and her sister Jessica also set up an amazing Car Wash at their family owned business. Everyone who came and supported either of these fundraisers I am absolutely grateful for. Without my friends and family I wouldn’t be able to afford to not work. The way people in my life have stepped up has truly showed me who is truly there for me no matter what. Friends of family, and friends of friends are coming by my side when they’ve never even met me before. It’s an amazing feeling having people who want to donate to you, feed you, drive you, or simply just be there to watch movies on the couch with you. It definitely makes you view people and the world differently. Don’t get me wrong it’s not always rainbows and sunshine. There will be people in your life who surprise you in a negative way, but you just have to realize that everyone handles situations differently and that’s okay. Focus on the ones in your life who are making a positive difference. Although I don’t always reply to text messages, facebook posts, or phone calls I definitely appreciate every single thing everyone has done for me now matter how big or how small it may be.
“I’ve learned a lot this year. I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.”
Until Next Time,
XOXO Bechtold Badass