As I’m approaching Chemo #9 on Thursday I can’t help but self reflect on my journey so far, and how in 4 short months all the ways my life has changed. When we go through things in life the first thing we do is try to find answers to our questions, well honestly one main question. The WHY? Why is this happening to me? Why did this happen to me? Why would someone do this? That’s just the way life works you don’t always get to have the answers you’re looking for and that’s okay. It’s okay because you’re not alone. When something happens to you, you become a SURVIVOR. You are apart of a community with people who know exactly what you’re going through, and have all the same questions you do. You become apart of something so big and so supportive that the WHY becomes irrelevant and you start asking HOW? How can I make a difference to another person asking the WHY? Being diagnosed with cancer at such a young age for me has taught me more about myself than I ever could have expected. I have gone through more mental and physical pain in the last 4 months than in my entire life combined. I made it 26 years without giving blood, having surgery, being admitted into the hospital, or having anything serious wrong with me. EVER. During year 26 I have had every scan, test, needle, side effect, and so forth imaginable. Even during all the mental and physical pain I have endured in this stage of my life I am just about the happiest I have ever been. cancer. Although I am currently living my life on pause for the most part I am fighting. I am fighting for the life I want to have after cancer. I spend hour day dreaming of my 27th birthday and having my best friend here. I dream of Disneyland trips, and Mexico. I day-dream of eating sushi and drinking my iced coffee everyday. surprisingly enough I day dream of going back to work and seeing my girls. I definitely learned during this just what a great company I work for. The support and love I have received from everyone at Ulta is just absolutely amazing. Having cancer is just about as low as it gets, but I will forever be grateful for the lessons it has taught me. Cancer has made me value every part of my life whether it be the good, bad, or ugly. It has repaired relationships in my life that I was too stubborn to repair before. It has strengthened relationships I didn’t even realize could get stronger. It has taken the love and appreciation I have for my husband and multiplied it by about 100. It has taught me to love myself and to simply appreciate the little things. We can’t always control what happens to us or the people we love, but what we can control is how we deal with it. Cancer is no stranger in my world, but I don’t want to be just another colored ribbon people wear. I am a survivor. you’re a survivor. You don’t have to have cancer to be a survivor. Anything you go through in life that changes you and you survive it. Makes you a survivor. In other words you’re not alone, you’re never alone, and no one ever fights alone. Life is a such a beautiful thing if you let it be, and it’s never too late to change the way you live your life. If you’re not happy, go be happy. Buy the boots, book the vacation, be kind, be unapologetically you, and continue to survive and fight the fight. Today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life.
Until Next Time,
XOXO Bechtold Badass.