When you ask a cancer patient going through chemo how they stay positive you never truly get the same answer every time. Every person has a different reason as to how they stay positive but also the answer can change everyday. Most days I am strong and positive because I know for a fact there are far more people out there who have it worse off than I do. Yeah I know that sounds kind of odd considering cancer is about as scary as it gets, but it becomes quite humbling having to go to the Cancer Center every two weeks and seeing people who just simply get EXACTLY what you’re going through. Whether you say anything to these people or not you feel for them. You don’t ask them “how are you?” because you know just how loaded that question actually is, and honestly the answer is always the same “Well I’m alive” (no but really it’s a thing). You just simply smile at each other, possibly share your snacks, and nap trying to forget about the pain you’re both enduring at that very same moment.
When you begin your cancer journey the end seems so far away, and you figure you’re just torturing yourself even thinking about future plans, but what if in a way planning for the future is also the only thing that keeps you sane? Now that I’m 10 rounds deep into this I’ve gotten my routine down pretty much to a science. The first two days are spent in complete hibernation complete sleep mode (this is the time I don’t answer any social media/texts/phone calls) the day after is spent being completely awake and feeling all the nausea known to mankind. The next few days that follow consist of me watching various movies/tv shows, reading, writing (when my neuropathy allows), and most important of all are all my Pinterest goals. Pinterest can be a very dangerous slope considering the whole “social media vs reality” thing, but it can also be extremely motivating. I mean if were being honest I’ve already redone my kitchen, planned 3 different vacations, and created a nursery for my unborn children and I feel pretty damn good about it. Yeah Pinterest can have a way with making things extremely unrealistic, but it also has this amazing ability to allow you to create visions you want for your life. Besides there’s nothing wrong with Pinterest dreams anyways and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I guess the bigger point I am trying to make is that no matter what you’re going through, and no matter what you’ve been through you still have the ability to go after exactly what you want for a better life for yourself. Everyone has a different way of dealing with things and for me writing is my outlet and Pinterest just happens to be that very bright light I see at the end of this tunnel.
Until Next Time,
XOXO Bechtold Badass