Buckle up Badasses,
This post is going to be a long one, so grab a snack and some water, wine, or spiked egg nog? (and a glass for me since I can’t drink).
Every year around Christmas and right before New Year’s I always take the time to sit and reflect on the year and most of the time the good outweighs the bad and overall I usually have a lot more to be thankful for and toss it up as a good year. Well, apparently 2018 wanted change and I was just along for the very bumpy ride.
I know you’re probably thinking my awful year started in July when I was diagnosed with cancer, but I have to tell you that you’re unfortunately wrong. Cancer has not been the only contribution to the testament of Meagan Bechtold’s strength this year. No, this all started in January. Anyone who knows me knows exactly just how much of a crazy obsessed dog mom I am, and in the first week of January I got the most devastating phone call I would ever answer. I was 30 minutes away from leaving work and was taking a small break in the backroom when I get a call from my husband, but when I answer it just sounds like breathing and I can’t understand what he’s saying. Finally he blurts out that Bowser (our youngest fur baby 1.5 years old) has a huge tumor in his lungs (the irony of this) and has a terminal form of cancer. Our options aren’t really options at this point. 1. Be selfish and keep Bowser as long as we possibly can even though he refuses to eat. 2. Do the right thing and put him out of pain. Being the dog mom that I am I absolutely could never be selfish like that especially when he’s not eating and all I could do around him was cry, so my husband and I knew what to do. My husband went to take Bowser into the animal hospital on Jan. 9th and I was with my mom trying to be distracted because although all this was happening my birthday was also in 2 days, and I basically had forgotten. Bowser was put out of pain on Jan. 9th and then cremated on my birthday Jan. 11th. Don’t get me wrong I have dealt with the rainbow bridge before and each time is completely heartbreaking, but the difference between then and now is the fact that my fur baby was only 1.5 years old with so much life left to live. This tragedy left my husband and I completely shattered, but like we always say “Everything happens for a reason.”
February comes and were starting to heal and become more positive. Then we learn great news about this puppy were going to receive! My husband shows me pictures and I just cry, but this time I’m crying because I’m so grateful and happy for this little guy to come into our lives. Fast forward to December and Opie just had his 1st birthday and weighs 82lbs. I call him one of the silver linings of 2018. We still remained hopeful in February until my husband starts having chest pain and high blood pressure. I drive him to the ER where he is hooked up and ran through multiple tests for his heart. About 6 hours later all the tests were finished and thankfully his heart was fine, but there were other things causing the problem. The last 3 months had been emotionally draining, and his body was physically taking a toll. We were given a few things to help with anxiety and blood pressure and then we were sent on our way. Update to now he is doing much better and obviously realizes the importance of health. Biggest lesson of 2018 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. but really, please do it.
March, April, and May.
I’m going to refrain from boring you with the details of these months because honestly it’s a blur at this point. These weren’t “terrible” months for me by any means, but these were the months of the year that had the most change (well you know until July). I was in a very very confused state in my life. All my husband and I have ever wanted to do was to achieve our goals, but sometimes bills and priorities just have to come first. My husband has been wanting to go back to Barber school for quite some time now, but with school comes less work and less work means less money and less money for the husband means more working for me. I wanted to figure out a way for him to do this for himself but still not have our little family struggle, but I also didn’t know what to do. Too make a very long story short for the next few months I worked on communicating what I wanted for myself and made my personal and work goals more clear. I worked extremely hard and another huge silver lining of 2018 was a promotion that I had been working toward since my career at Ulta began. With greatness comes great responsibility, but the part that quote is missing is “With great responsibility comes people who doubt you from every angle.” To avoid making this negative I will just leave you with this..When you want something in life work for it and get it. When you get (not if WHEN) do not let anyone (I mean it ANYONE) take it away from you. There is a reason it’s yours. There’s a reason YOU were chosen. The person or people who made that decision saw something in you, and you need to see it too. Once that started to get under control then came June.
June 11th about 1 month from being diagnosed (this story is ironic and weird too)
I remember this day perfectly. It was a Monday and I had called out of work so I could go to Urgent Care about my stupid ongoing cough and weird consistent fevers. Well I get up and go to Urgent Care. He tells me he thinks my bronchitis has come back and prescribes me the usual antibiotics and sends me on my way. Well as I’m leaving the parking lot BOOOOOOM I get into a car accident. My very first car accident and the car that I paid for on my own for years and is 1 year from being paid off COMPLETELY TOTALED. I’ll spare you the details, but basically now I have this stubborn cough, i’m sore and now traumatized from this car accident. Monday June 13th I get a new car. (silver lining? You be the judge)
Yes, exactly a month after I get my car and registrations due. BOOM Urgent Care again, but this time with the twist of Emergency Room, and well you know the rest after that by now. (If you don’t check out my first 2 blogs) Don’t worry though I may procrastinate a lot in my life, but it will never be my bills so the registration was already paid and sent in. I won’t bore you with the details of the remaining months because we’ve already been through that, but we can switch gears a little bit.
I will leave you with this,
As traumatizing and downright painful this year was I am truly the happiest and most at peace with myself than I think I have ever been. As many cliches, quotes, phrases, and sayings there are about living life and being happy they’re all true. Life IS too short, and you can’t do a damn thing about it, so why try to change it? Accept change, challenge it, embrace it, create it, love it, live it, whatever you want to do with change DO IT.
If you’re doubting yourself on whether or not you think you can get through it or not. Well, YOU CAN. When I think back to who I was at the hospital and how scared I was and confused. I had NO idea what Hodgkins Lymphoma was, and now I could answer just about any question. I didn’t think I could make it to Round 2 and now I have Round 12 on Friday. I started this journey with my husband by my side 3 days a week all day every day to take care of me, but my husband was given the opportunity to start school, and we both agreed it was best to do it now. Since October my husband has been going to school 5 days a week and working the other 2 and sometimes both. Which leaves me to take care of myself which in my opinion has made me 10x stronger mentally and emotionally. Except sometimes I forget to lecture myself about eating so that’s been a bummer. As much as I miss my husband everyday I am so incredibly proud of him and he finishes school the same day as my last treatment. PAARTAAAAAAY. JUST KIDDING I’ll be sleeping/hibernating until 2019…literally.
Most years are good years for me, but this one was definitely the worst year of my entire life, but it has changed me for the better and has set up what I will make the best year of my entire life, and I will not let anything get in the way of that. Not even the word Cancer. Leave all your shit in 2018. Leave all your negativity and self doubt in 2018.
2018 I fell, 2019 I get up.
Until Next Time,
XOXO Bechtold Badass.